I haven't really done any painting for years and even then I only dabbled a bit here and there. I did art GCSE but only covered the basics and although I have always been inspired by the work of others, the written word was always my medium.
But lately I have felt "stuck". I just couldn't write like I used to and certainly couldn't find the place in my heart where inspiration lived. I was so busy trying to write what I thought other people would like that it became a chore.
This is a pattern I follow in my life too: too little self-worth makes me try to please others far more than pleasing myself and enjoying who I am. Embarrassed by my dreams and interests I hide them away and then tear myself apart emotionally when the life I create for myself does not live up to those same dreams.
So, last night I decided to take Tim's advice and do something purely for the pleasure of it. I started by watching a documentary about teenage parents, which led me to watch some videos on YouTube of birth (I have always had a massive interest in pregnancy, birth and the beginning of life) and I felt something inside me stirring... that's when the sketches at the start of this post came into being.
I wanted to explore the beauty of life, rather than the mundane, everyday grind which can get us down so often. Moments of joy that will last in our memories forever. Birth is one such moment. Nurturing a child is another. And so the first in a series of paintings, brought straight from the heart, developed. And here is the finished product.
Well, I say finished... I haven't decided yet whether to paint a background or not. I'm really rather pleased with how it came out - I love the simplicity of it and am astounded that I managed to actually get some shading in there. I'm starting to think that maybe, by doing something I love, I might even create things other people will love too. What do you think?